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"That's not a real conflict," he scoffed. "It’s petty."

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Your relationship cannot be your only hobby. If your entire identity is "we," there is no tension. Better relationships require separate pursuits. When you leave the house to go rock climbing or to a book club, you reintroduce longing . You create a storyline where your partner has to wonder, "How was their day?" That curiosity is the engine of romance. "That's not a real conflict," he scoffed

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